--What inspired you to publish Coming Out Letters, and for what reasons?

Actually, for the past 8 years, I had been thinking, "I wish there was a good book that people could just simply hand over when coming out". Then, one day when I was out with Ryoji, who was also active in the HIV/AIDS field, he mentioned that he wished a book of letters written by former students to their teachers was available. So there were definite overlaps in what each of us was thinking about.

--How did you choose contributors to the book? Did you set up certain standards for publication? Did you publicly invite contributions?

It was hard to choose which letters to use. First of all, we wanted to be sure that readers didn't see contributors as "special cases", so we looked to find people out of the gay media limelight. Also, if we made public announcements that we were searching for drafts, then that would mean we would have to reject potential contributors - something we were not interested in doing. So, ultimately, we searched for people through personal contacts. We only found two lesbians, but seeing as how their generational differences were so broad, we thought they were wonderful choices.

--Personally, I was touched by the fact that the book included not only letters by people coming out, but also responses from straight people who received them. Where did you get the idea to do this? Also, responses by the teachers were very interesting...

The idea to find letters from teachers was Ryoji's idea originally. He thought that since teachers are seen, in a sense, as authority figures, having instructors speak in positive terms about gays and lesbians would allow the public to see gay and lesbian issues as more broadly acceptable. The idea of including responses in the book, was probably based in hints I'd taken from field work with HIV/AIDS. There's actually a group where HIV-positive persons and their friends read aloud letters that they've written, and so I had an image of that kind of exchange in my mind.

--Do you have any plans to send the books to schools in order to better cultivate knowledge among educators?

Yes, we do. Actually one of my very close friends just passed away last year. His partner has told me that he wishes to use part of his inheritance to purchase the book for libraries in Japan. It was impossible for us to send books to every library in Japan, but as we were looking into what we could do, we thought, we could provide the book to free schools that drop-outs attend. A lot of drop outs are actually children dealing with issues of sexuality, so the idea of providing this book so that it may reach them is a great idea to me.

--How many copies do you plan to send?

Right now, about 150.

--What did you think when you read the letters from people's parents? 　
　
They were extremely encouraging. As a matter of fact, before we had collected all the letters, we held a round-table talk with LGBTQ families and friends - it is printed in the book as well. At that time, I was just about brought to tears listening to the experiences of parents, but I couldn't fully understand why. But, as we mentioned during taping for "Haato O Tsunago", I think that when we listen to the words said by other people's parents, we imagine our own parents using those exact expressions. That's why we feel such resounding strength when we read letters from parents of LGBTQ children - it helps us to feel that our own parents would be able to cheer us on as well.

--Did your thoughts on coming out change at all as a result of your experiences editing this book?

Well, I spent about one year editing. At first, I probably just thought that how someone’s coming out is received correlates to the amount of accurate information the other person has access to. But, as I worked through editing, I realized that this was not the case at all. Naturally, it goes without saying that people properly exposed to the issues will have a better time understanding the situation on a personal level, but that does not mean at all that they will be any more accepting. Everything always comes back to, "This is my child" and what that means to them. When they first hear the truth, they may resist or object - but over time they come to digest it as well. Many people say that, "Coming out does not end with just one act," and I was really able to see how true that was. There are a number of cases where all contact is cut off, but once everybody gets back together later on to talk about it, they find acceptance. However, a decisive factor for the persons trying to accept their loved one's sexuality is their consideration of the question, "Can someone's sexuality be changed?" If someone understands that sexuality itself cannot be changed then, even if it takes time, they will have to settle acceptance within themselves. If they think that it can be changed though, then they'll continue to push their loved one to change him or herself. So I think that point is one large contributing factor.

--Do you think that there is any difference between how mothers and fathers accept their children's sexuality in Japan? Do you think there is a trend where people are coming out to one or the other first?

When comparing both mothers and fathers, one thing that comes to mind is how mothers often feel that it is their fault that their children turned out "this way". On the other hand, it seems like fathers are a bit more objective about it. Also, more people tend to come out to their mothers before their fathers.

--In Japan, people still equate gay and lesbian couples with childlessness, yet in western countries more and more such couples are becoming parents through artificial insemination. What do you think of that?

I think that's a very difficult question. Naturally, I think as long as straight couples are using artificial insemination to have children, then same-sex couples should have the option as well. However, when talking of same-sex couples, lesbian couples and gay couples are in very different situations. In the case of a gay male couple, they would have to find a birth mother - which may just raise gender issues of using women as "vehicles for babies". I suppose if all parties involved agree to it and settle it contractually, or decide to raise the child with all three cooperatively working together, then that’s fine - but realistically matters may become very complicated. However, for lesbian couples, the woman that decides to become the birth mother is personally accepting the risks involved in childbirth and can achieve insemination through the use of sperm donors. Thus, in terms of feasibility, lesbian couples can really have children almost on equal par with straight couples.

--Do you yourself want children?

Personally, I don't feel the need to, technically speaking, pass on my genes, so if I was to have children I would adopt. However, same-sex couples cannot yet adopt in Japan, so this too would be difficult.

translated by rayna