4. In 1852, how gay were you?
-- Do you think that people are born gay? Or do you think we become that way?
You know, I actually think that it’s different for everyone. Some women live as lesbians for years, and then they’re with a man. So for them it’s a choice. And then I think for some people it’s an imperative. It’s just who they are. And then I think it’s a combination for some people. I mean, different people see being gay in different ways. Some people are gay, and have a same-sex partner, but they’re very uncomfortable with being called “gay”. But then, for some people, it’s like, “Yeah! I’m gay! I’m gay! I’m gay!” So it’s really different for everyone.
-- What about in your case?
Hmmm. I always say that I definitely feel I was born gay, it just took me a while to figure it out. But I like to also speculate. If this was a different era, like 1852, I have a feeling that I personally would be married to a man. Because I would have a choice, and I would realize that the choice that I had in that life would probably get me killed. And so I would have most likely never even explored the possibility of being gay. Whereas I know a lot of people who say they would just have to be who they were. They would have probably found a way to either pass as a man, or live completely underground. What about you? In 1852, in a different world, would you have been someone else, married to a man?
-- Maybe I wouldn’t have been living as a lesbian, but I still wouldn’t have been married to a man.
Me too! Surely I would have found a way not to be married...
-- Like by becoming an intellectual...
Yes, a teacher or a librarian! (laughs)
-- (laughs) I’d just grow old alone, like an "old maid"!
Yeah! And you know what, I think that if I wasn’t gay in this world, I would still wish I was gay (laughs). I have one good friend who’s straight -- she’s really tall and smart and cute, so men seem to be intimidated by her. She always says, “I can’t find a man, I can’t find a date,” and I just tell her, “You would have so many girlfriends if you were a lesbian!” (laughs)
-- Probably true (laughs). How did it feel for you when you realized you were gay?
I remember thinking, “Wow, I can’t believe I’m gay!” I was so surprised. All these questions ran through my head like, “Really? Me? How could that happen!? How could I not know I was gay when I was a kid if I’m gay now?” For me it wasn’t obvious. Actually, I still feel like that now too. Like, “I’m gay!? How weird!” (laughs)
[ 1 ] [ 2 ] [ 3 ] [ 4 ] [ 5 ]