-- I'd like to go back to talking about your book. The chapter "Sunflower", where the protagonist is a gay boxer, comes at the very end of the novel. Did you place the story there for any special reason?

Yes, I think so. Readers know that I'm gay and I wanted them to think I'm presenting this story symbolically, so I put it at the very end. Does that make sense? (laughs)

-- I think I understand. (laughs) By putting it at the very end, it becomes an important closing piece, and it also leaves something of an afterglow with the reader.

Yeah, I even imagined to myself that after finishing the book people would look back to the name on the cover and think to themselves, "Wow, Ken Maeda wrote this."

-- In Japan the world of comedy, much like the world of boxing, is male-dominated and has a kind of machismo running through it. Is the story of this boxer living as a gay man in "a male-dominated world" taken from your own experiences?　

You've got a point. The world of comedy is very male-dominated. As I see it, boxing consists of two half-naked men duking it out, which I felt to be very far from actual gay sensibility. That's why I wanted to try setting the story as I did. Also, because I wanted to use the stoic, lonesome nature of boxing as a metaphor.

-- Why did you choose the name “Sunflower” for this chapter?

They say that sunflowers naturally turn to face the sun as they grow. So I used the example of the sunflower as a way to express our humble wish to turn in the direction of our happiness, even if by only just the tips of our toes.

-- In “Sunflower” one of the characters says, "When it comes to heartbreak, it feels better to lose by a KO rather than by a count." Does this reflect your own personal feelings? Do you act directly when in love, even at the risk of being KO'ed?

I do. Up to the present most of the guys I've fallen for have been straight. And for me, in order to be able to walk away, first I have to tell someone how I feel. That's why, even if I know it's a losing fight, I'll say my piece. Then I can be KO'ed and walk away feeling somewhat relieved and ready to move on to the next fight. When I was younger I'd be obstinate about saying exactly how I felt because it seemed that if I didn't openly confess my feelings, everything would be swept under the carpet as if nothing had ever been there.

-- Why do you think you've fallen for more straight guys than gay ones?

I think there's something I admire in them. Perhaps something that I don't have. I relate to gay men in numerous ways and feel that we're very much on the same wavelength, but somehow it just feels like, with them, I'm with siblings...family. When it comes to attraction, I've been drawn to straight men. I mean, I'm speaking in the past tense, but even today it's so easy for me to fall for straight guys. (laughs)

After all, doesn't it seem kind of devious to give up when something's impossible, or fight harder only when the potential is there. (laughs) I think that, honestly, the person you like the most is the same one who comes to mind when you're alone and you want to see somebody.

-- The chapter "Lily" tells a story of platonic love and marriage between an asexual woman and a gay man. Could you imagine yourself in the same kind of relationship with a straight or lesbian woman?

I'd like to have children someday, so if such a relationship developed in my life, or I met the right woman in that sense, I can see it as possible. However, I've never actually experienced anything like that, so at the same time I have doubts. I wonder whether it would be possible for two people to live together in that way without becoming unhappy. If we each had lovers of our own, then that's one thing, but if you have a situation where one is always busy and the other is always at home, then it's hard to not expect a sadness to take hold. What about you?

-- I've always liked gay men, so as long as I didn't have a girlfriend, then I think I could be in a loving platonic relationship with one. I mean, if a gay guy would want to be with me, of course (laughs). But I also get the feeling that if there was a girl I liked, then it wouldn't happen.

True. Being open to a possibility means not ruling it out. There's a balance.

-- Are you already thinking about your next book?

I am. My first book followed the theme of sexual minorities, so right now I'm imagining what would happen if I wrote my second about straight boy-girl love. I’d like to try writing with an eye on things in life that I expect should be "easy" for straight couples though, in reality, they still may be hard for them to do.

translated by rayna