-- Do you remember the first time you thought you might be gay?

In my second year of middle school, a good friend of mine stopped talking to me for a while because of an argument we had. It was awful for me and I began thinking, “Why does this make me so sad?” when it just naturally occurred to me: “I like him.”

I didn’t come to the realization in any sexual or physical way--really it was just a feeling that developed from a platonic relationship I had. I’m glad it happened that way.

-- How did you feel when you realized you may be gay?　

Well, I felt like somewhere in me I had known. I kind of thought, “Of course.” (laughs)

-- It didn’t upset you or anything?

No. I was living in Tokyo so I had access to a lot of information. Also, my parents are young so I didn’t have much of a conservative upbringing or a reason to put myself down about it.

-- Do you remember what you first heard or thought about homosexuality when you were a child?

Well, I remember hearing that men going to spots known for gay cruising would make a point to time everything so that so that no one would be seen showing up or leaving together.

That made me think, “Oh, that must be something judged badly in the eyes of the world."

-- I think many people go through feelings of guilt or anxiety (about being gay) early on. Did you go through that?

I didn’t think there was anything wrong with it.

-- So then was it when you got to high school that you first realized this was seen as a taboo thing in the world?

Yes, exactly. I got the feeling that, with the kind of concern people seemed to have over it, it had to be something that no one should know.

That’s why I really never personally felt guilty about it. To the contrary I wondered why it was so wrong. I am considerate of people who are more concerned with how it's seen by society, but I was never concerned like that myself. Even today.

-- I’ve heard that you go out to gay events and Shinjuku’s Nichome. What do you like about them?

Well, I think Nichome and gay clubs serve as a place where people who feel the pressure of having be “straight” day in and day out--never really expressing themselves--can really spread their wings and set themselves free.

Even today, when I’m in Nichome, I’ll meet lots of people who aren’t out at all at work. Talking to them I’ll hear just how hard it is. In that sense, since I’m out, Nichome isn’t so much of an absolutely necessary place for me but when I go to clubs and I see people just letting themselves go, it makes me happy that we have spaces like that.

-- In a previous interview (*to be posted in upcoming Tokyo Pride Festival coverage), you talked about how the gay scene in New York City is far more inclusive than the one in Nichome. Could you elaborate on that?

In the Japanese scene, like in Nichome, everything is centered around the bars and clubs, but the gay scene in New York City includes more than that--like fashion and politicians. It seems to have made inroads into all aspects of everyday life.

For example, there’s this one restaurant run by a gay couple and it's decorated with furniture and paintings in a way that the whole place really has a "gay feel" to it. But a lot of non-gay folks go there as well--because they like the taste. They’re not going like tourists would, saying, “Oh, hey honey, gay people run this place.” To them it’s just like going anywhere else, and that’s the way the gay area feels in New York. I really like it.

In Japan, if you watch straight people walking through Nichome, you’ll see them give strange looks whenever they see two men holding hands or something. I think that, depending on the individual, maybe this is just a question of what we've grown used to in our lives. Even if a kiss between two men looks weird to someone the first time they see it, maybe if they see a lot, then it begins to appear natural. So maybe it’s just a question of how often you see something.

-- I think so too. Since you never see men kissing men or women kissing women in the mass media, people just aren’t used to it. Even me, for example. When I was young, I thought it was a bit strange when I first saw gay friends of mine kissing, but now I think nothing of it.

Well then, we just have to show a lot more kissing! (laughs)

translated by rayna